I am not interested in merchandising. Please do not contact me about t-shirts, custom smartphone apps, branded computers, or anything similar.

I used to have a long explanation of why, but then people from merchandise companies started emailing me saying that no, they were different and if I'd just take a few minutes to listen...

So to save time for all of us, this is just a blunt ‘no’.

Please don't ask why, please don't get in touch with excuses, please don't email me.

I'm sorry to be rude: I know outreach and marketing is part of your job. Hopefully letting you down now will let you do that a bit more efficiently. Blame the people who kept emailing me!