The End of History: On a Budget

Warning! This is old. It was last updated in 2010 and may be obsolete, outdated, unsafe or just embarrassing. Treat with caution.

Stoatally Different

I found out the other day that notorious brewery Brewdog had created a £500-a-bottle, 55% beer that's bottled inside dead squirrels. It's called The End of History. No, really. Here:

Two dead, stuffed squirrels with the caps of beer bottles coming out of their mouths.

"This 55% beer should be drank in small servings whilst exuding an endearing pseudo vigilance and reverence for Mr Stoat."

That's great, but £500's far outside anything I can afford — and besides, they only made twelve bottles, which sold out within hours.

The solution: The End of History: On a Budget.

The cheaper alternative

Start with one very cheap stuffed teddy bear and a can of Sainsbury's Value Lager.

The ingredients.

This particular can of lager, by the way, was a bargain: reduced from 49p to 48p. Not only that, but it's suitable for both vegetarians and vegans. None of that meaty beer around these parts, thank you very much.

The discount label.

This is where anyone who watched any of the Toy Story movies recently should look away.

The first incision.

The patient was incredibly co-operative. By the way, if you've started to wince at this, don't worry: in a previous life, the bear was actually Hitler.

Widening the hole.

Then it was a simple matter of inserting the lager. This taxidermy lark's easy.

Inserting the beer.

A bit of duct tape to cover the joins. You can bearly see it. (Ha. Bearly. Oh, never mind.)

Duct tape is applied liberally.

And presto! You can hardly tell the difference between this and the proper End of History. I'd recommend that this sell for no more than £4.99 or so.

The finished product: a toy bear with a can of lager up its jacksie.

I've posted it to Brewdog. I'll let you know what they think.

The bear, packaged in bubble wrap.

A letter to Brewdog.

The closed package.